


The Penis Hat Shop

by rakketyrivertam



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crack, Dick Jokes, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 05:37:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakketyrivertam/pseuds/rakketyrivertam
Summary: Jester contrives to give Fjord an aneurysm.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	The Penis Hat Shop

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a conversation with a friend and fellow fan. XD

Jester squealed as they entered the quaint marketplace, jumping up and down with glee. "Look, the shops are so colorful!"

"Okay," Fjord said, largely ignoring his excitable friend as he looked through the list of shops, "so there's Molli and Pop's is the sweet shop... Caleb, you'll probably want to stop at Paper Fate...."

Caleb grunted ambiguously.

"Nott, it looks like Airworks Incorporated has a lot of knick knacks... What else? JC Copper... Apparently they can do anything with mushrooms at the Shroom Corner."

"Ooh." Caduceus peered over Fjord's shoulder.

"Build-an-Owlbear... Psych Games... Pen's Hat Shop...."

Jester froze and the most delighted expression came over her face. "Penis Hat Shop?!"

"Huh? No!" Fjord shook his head, an expression of utter disbelief posted across his face. "Pen's! _Pen's_ Hat Shop! What even...?"

Jester shrugged. "I dunno. I thought it was like a shop full of hats shaped like dicks, or maybe a shop full of hats _for_ dicks. Oh! We could get one for you, Fjord! A teeny tiny cowboy hat!"

"No!"

Caleb muttered something and wandered off vaguely in the direction of the paper shop. Beau snickered and Caduceus gazed on in fond horror.

"Are you _sure_? It would look pretty cute...!"

"_Yes_, I'm sure!" Fjord trailed off into grumpy muttering.

Nott cleared her throat and raised her hand. "I would like to go to the Penis Hat Shop."

_ **"There is no Penis Hat Shop!"** _


End file.
